Twitter is cigarettes – The Reformed Dealer


A variety of reporters and public intellectuals have been writing their obituaries for Twitter this weekend. First, we noticed the revolt of the Blue Checkmarks. Then, the primary inklings of an advertiser exodus. The timing of all this – on the eve of a midterm election that may decide whether or not or not Individuals truly care about democracy – couldn’t have been extra ominous.

Some verified Twitter customers don’t like the concept they may truly must pay one thing in trade for the 90 hours every week of leisure and advantage signaling alternatives they derive from the platform. Some don’t like the truth that common individuals will be capable to get verified with out even having their very own column for The Atlantic or content material administration system entry at HuffPo. Whenever you set a price ticket for the blue checkmark at eight {dollars}, lots of people who suppose they earned that blue test by being great and gifted are going to be mighty insulted. There may be even speak about how the verification system will grant extra publicity for paid customers than for unpaid customers, which might serve to hole out the person base of the platform unto the purpose the place it’s simply reporters and enterprise capitalists flaming one another in an empty stadium, tumbleweeds rolling throughout the car parking zone.

And on a parallel observe there may be additionally the promoting factor. It seems that Fortune 500 manufacturers aren’t wanting to have their company logos bobbing alongside a stream of N-words, swastikas and stepfather pornography. Who knew? The shedding of half of Twitter’s employees and resignations of most of its administration staff don’t precisely encourage confidence in opposition to a backdrop of Kanye West’s antisemitic meltdown and the inevitable return of Donald Trump. Many main advertisers is not going to commit their funds for 2023 till they’ve confidence that the platform gained’t devolve into an enormous model of 4Chan.

They’re getting conflicting messages out of the Elon Musk regime – the podcast friends who’re serving to with the transition are saying all the proper issues about stewardship and oversight. Then Musk himself tweets out a conspiracy idea concerning the Speaker of the Home’s 80 year-old husband being attacked with a hammer by his homosexual lover. On the primary day.

So all of the apocalyptic speak concerning the loss of life of Twitter is comprehensible given the present state of affairs.

But it surely’s all flawed.

Twitter will probably be fantastic.

It’s not going anyplace. Regardless of how nasty the platform will get, or how racially charged the discussions develop into, or how performatively offended the ability customers are, it gained’t matter.

As a result of Twitter is cigarettes.

You’ll hear individuals planning their exits from the positioning. Normally within the type of a tweet. That’s simply affirmation that they can not and won’t ever exit. At the least not completely. I don’t doubt that the will to go away is there. It’s simply that I additionally perceive the truth of exiting higher than most.

Enable me to assist out right here…

I’m executed with Twitter, deleting my account: 

No you’re not. You may take your self offline, however your username will nonetheless be ready for you upon your return. That is at the back of your thoughts as you “delete” your self. You’re in all probability deleting the app out of your iPhone too. Inside 24 hours you’ll be logging in from Safari or Chrome browser to see if anybody seen you left. “What if I miss an vital DM?” goes to be the duvet story you’ll use to justify peeking. Derek Landy mentioned “The lies we inform different individuals are nothing to the lies we inform ourselves.” Cease mendacity.

I imply it, I’m so mad! Elon goes to tear this nation aside! 

Nearly no person quits for good and the extra huffy your exit, the earlier you’ll be coming again. That’s why you’re so huffy within the first place – since you hate how a lot you want this silly web site and all of the individuals on it. Huff and puff all of your need, however there’s an iron rule about what occurs upon your return: No person comes again small. You’re coming again with a vengeance. Elon will not be the issue. The issue is that human beings weren’t meant to work together with a whole lot of hundreds of thousands of different human beings from all over the world every day. It’s unnatural and may solely result in horrible, harmful outcomes for the world. As just lately as 100 years in the past, the standard human on earth solely knew and interacted with just a few dozen individuals. It was almost unimaginable for a demagogue to amass a lot of a following absent the backing of a military or the possession of a nationwide press corps. Now it will probably occur each day and nobody even wants to go away the home. As a species, we’re not ready to withstand. We haven’t had entry to the expertise lengthy sufficient to have constructed up an immunity to the unfold of disinformation on an industrial scale. We haven’t advanced the emotional resistance to the temptation to hitch a web based mob as a result of being a part of the in-group has been hardwired into our DNA over one million years. It’s why our ancestors lived lengthy sufficient to move alongside their genes – they joined the group and threw stones on the individuals who didn’t. The stoned-to-death apes didn’t move alongside something. Present humanity is the product of centuries of mob mentality. Twitter harnesses this phenomenon and supercharges it to create “engagement.”

OK, I’m staying, however solely as a result of democracy dies in darkness and leaving is precisely what these fascists need us to do. So I’m doing my half and staying proper right here!

Girl, it’s nicotine. You’re addicted. You suppose in tweet format. Oh I ought to tweet that! Your fixed utilization of the platform has truly rearranged the best way your entire prepare of thought works. Some days the interactions you’ve got on the app are the one validation you’re going to get. I exist! I matter! Folks take into consideration me! You recognize you’ll be able to’t dwell with out that for lengthy. It issues extra to you than who owns it or who earnings from it. You’d keep on Twitter if Kim Jong-Un was appointed group supervisor. What are your choices? Speak to the cat? The cat can’t retweet you.

I don’t want Twitter, however all my buddies are right here, so, it’s like the trail of least resistance or no matter is to only, like, keep.

You haven’t any buddies right here. Everybody on Twitter hates everybody else. However this informal, incidental hatred is nothing in comparison with the diploma to which they hate themselves. It’s fantastic. Everybody off of Twitter hates everybody too. It’s not unintentional that probably the most viral content material is individuals insulting, dunking on or shaming others. Simply admit that’s what you’re doing there. Your pals are individuals who would come rescue you on the facet of the highway at 3 am in case your automobile broke down within the rain and nobody was there to submit footage of it taking place. How many individuals you bought in your life like that? 4? Two? One? No person? The 646 individuals who comply with you on Twitter are fantastic as long as you don’t have an excessive amount of success and you’re certain to maintain favoriting all of their bullshit every day. Watch what occurs whenever you begin succeeding in life. Watch what occurs whenever you cease reciprocating. Your “buddies” my ass.

I’d swap to Instagram or TikTok. 

No you gained’t as a result of the factor that made you a success on Twitter doesn’t translate to IG or TikTok. You’re witty and sharp and well-informed and opinionated, that’s the way you constructed a following on Twitter. However you’re additionally ugly and may’t dance, so that you’re not going to duplicate your success right here in both of these locations. Instagram is a style present. TikTok is a expertise present. You aren’t modern and your expertise is cleverly hurting different individuals’s emotions. Possibly keep put. You’re in the best place.

I’m actually influential so the best factor to do is preserve tweeting. 

Okay however settle down. You’re a micro-influencer at finest. Maybe a nano-influencer. I do know individuals who confer with themselves as influencers and are billed that means of their profiles or at business occasions. You then have a look at the engagement on their tweets. 1 RT, 3 likes. No RTs, 1 like. It’s embarrassing. And the worst half is they may preserve that tweet up there. If solely the best individual have been to come back alongside and uncover it! You solely have actual affect when you can fully disappear from social media and individuals are nonetheless to listen to what you must say. Assume Jay-Z, George Clooney, Warren Buffett, Denzel Washington, Julia Roberts – all the individuals that you’d truly look as much as and need to be like. Now take into consideration the hundreds of thousands of non-famous comfortable individuals who aren’t tweeting their heads off all day. As for prolifically tweeting celebrities, they’re completely unbearable. When you see a well-known individual consuming in a restaurant, it’s somewhat little bit of a thrill. You textual content your folks “Guess who was at 4 Charles final evening!?!? That’s proper! Mario Lopez! It is best to have seen his dimples!” Now think about how excited you’d get when you began seeing Mario Lopez all over the place you went, seven days every week. “Goddamn it this f***ing AC Slater man is in entrance of me at Starbucks once more. Why does he have to the touch and spin round each single cup on the counter to search out his order?” The magic wears off actual fast. When you’re in individuals’s faces all day with all your opinions, no matter affect you suppose you’ve got is steadily melting away like an ice dice within the solar. And you then’re simply one other puddle. Nobody is happy or stunned to listen to from you or see you. You’re “this man once more? Shut up already.” Think about if Serena Williams awoke each morning and began speaking shit to different tennis gamers on the web and saved going til she went to sleep every evening. As insane as that sounds, there are literal billionaires doing that on finance twitter, making 9 enemies for all times for each one admirer. I don’t know if it’s the narcissism or the sociopathy that drives them to maintain going, but it surely’s actually unbelievable to behold. Or to disregard fully on your personal sanity, as I’ve chosen to do.

I barely submit on Twitter anyway, I don’t care. 

The one who says this spends extra time scrolling the feed than they do speaking to their very own youngsters. They’re the most addicted. That is the worst type of Twitter participant – risking nothing, contributing zero, publicly feigning apathy whereas privately obsessing over conversations they don’t even have the center to barge into. Positive you don’t care. Let’s see your display time stats. You’re by no means leaving both, regardless that we don’t even know you’re there.

I don’t care who owns it, I would like it to get the information. 

Dude, cease mendacity to your self already. You will get the information from Google. From New York Instances. From Fox. From CNBC. From Yahoo. From the Submit. From the opposite Submit. Anyway you need to get it. Alerts. Texts. Emails. Apps. Aggregation. Feed. Search. Subscription. You recognize this. Everybody is aware of this. However I do know what you really want. You don’t want headlines, it’s good to subtweet different people who find themselves happier than you’re. Attempt doing that with a Wall Avenue Journal subscription. Doesn’t work. Within the yr of our lord 2022, “the information” is actually within the air. It’s hitting your cellphone’s house display. It’s hitting your Apple Watch. It’s scrolling throughout the entrance of your treadmill. It’s inescapable. However the alternative to show your personal insecurities outward on another person for a momentary burst of satisfaction? That’s the factor you’ll be able to’t go with out. That’s the actual want. All that bitterness and frustration has to have someplace to go. Can’t maintain all of it in, on a regular basis. You possibly can inform whose life goes nicely and whose isn’t primarily based on how ugly and obnoxious they’re to others on the web. You ever seen a profitable, happy individual get up within the morning in the hunt for a stranger to harass? By no means occurs offline, on earth. All the time occurs on-line, each minute of every single day. What does that must do with “the information”? You’re not on Twitter for the information, you’re on Twitter for the shortage of penalties for anonymously insulting others as a coping mechanism. Or since you get pleasure from watching different individuals insult one another. It’s the closest factor we have now to gladiator video games within the trendy period. And who doesn’t like watching an excellent quaint battle to the loss of life?

I exploit it to maintain up with politics and sports activities.

You imply you utilize it to learn probably the most excessive and subsequently social media-successful political messages coming from the worst component inside your explicit get together? You imply you utilize it to trash a twenty-year-old skilled athlete as a result of he price you nineteen {dollars} on Fanduel final evening or made you lose Week Seven within the fantasy soccer league along with your previous fraternity brothers?

I can cease anytime. 

No you’ll be able to’t. You possibly can announce that you simply’re stopping. You’re not stopping. Since you don’t have something that may change it. That’s the important thing to quitting. Simpler mentioned than executed.

Okay, I gained’t stop however I gained’t say something on there ever once more. 

Have just a few drinks, let’s see. It’s an election evening. Open a bottle of reposado. Let nature do the remainder.


So what occurs now?

Musk will get uninterested in working it and begin appointing a brand new slate of empty fits who will inevitably lean again towards the protected and the appropriate of their effort to fulfill the factor he needs them to prioritize greater than free speech – don’t let this price me any more cash. Widespread sense will win out, the racists will probably be sufficiently muffled, muted and moved off platform in order that Marvel can comfortably purchase just a few hundred million impressions for The Eternals 2 or Ant Man 5 or no matter with out having to hesitate. Earlier than you recognize it, the platform will revert again to what it all the time has been – a real-time message board haphazardly half-organized by individuals who don’t even use the product, incomes virtually no revenue whereas preserving the world on the point of civilization’s finish. The British Historian Arnold Toynbee, upon concluding his twelve-volume “A Research of Historical past” after three a long time of analysis, concluded that “Civilizations die from suicide, not by homicide.”

It’s not the challenges of the day that threaten us, it’s the means we have now chosen to reply to these challenges – in-fighting versus cooperation. Twitter is the best enabler of in-fighting ever devised within the historical past of humanity. The extra argumentative and strident your conduct, the upper and extra sustained the rewards are. Stature. Recognition. Talking engagements. Cult following. We’ve perfected the technique of our personal destruction, 380 characters at a time. A majority of American voters not see the voters of the opposing get together as merely flawed. They’re now satisfied that those that disagree with them are literally the enemy. I wouldn’t blame Twitter completely. The 24-hour cable information cycle that started thirty years in the past in all probability received the ball rolling and Fb has executed as a lot injury to a sure demographic’s capacity to suppose clearly as the rest. The information media’s enterprise mannequin shift from native to nationwide, from subscriptions to clicks, performed an vital function as nicely. However Twitter fuel-injects all of those pre-existing forces and makes them much more pronounced.

The platform was constructed that means.

And when it lastly does fulfill its future because the metaphorical warehouse stuffed with crates of unstable dynamite…when it lastly receives that fateful lit match it’s been ready for because the very starting, you’ll be there. Entrance and middle.

You’re by no means leaving. Nobody else is both.

And, prefer it or not, Elon goes to discover a technique to make cash from it.



Oh no, Stephen Weiss has deleted his Twitter account! Gotta be at the least the third or fourth time since I’ve met him. It’s a cycle.

Speaking concerning the shares you’re shopping for and promoting publicly is a number of enjoyable. However nobody may be proper 100% of the time. And Twitter is stuffed with individuals who have loads of time on their palms to intensify all the pieces you’ve ever mentioned which turned out to be flawed and actually go to city on you. That’s simply a part of the sport. Gotta have a humorousness about it and loads of humility. It’s additionally higher to personal your L’s earlier than anybody else has an opportunity to ridicule you for them. I’ve been doing this for twelve years, you’ll be able to take my phrase for it. The difficulty is, Weiss has a fantastic humorousness as long as the topic we’re laughing at is anybody however himself. And there’s not a number of humility happening there, if we’re being sincere. However that’s the attraction of Weiss! It’s why he’s so nice for our present and so entertaining to observe. You recognize who’s most entertained by Stephen Weiss? The individuals who say they’ll’t stand him. They don’t even acknowledge what’s truly taking place – he, his entire persona, is producing an emotional response within the viewers and so they can’t get sufficient of him. There’s a fantastic joke within the film ‘Personal Elements’ the place Howard Stern’s nemesis on the radio station calls for to listen to the newest listenernship stats to show why the shock jock ought to be taken off the air. It seems, the individuals who hate Howard are literally listening twice as a lot because the followers!

Anyway, Weiss the individual is totally different from Weiss the character on TV (that is true of everybody on TV to some extent, clearly). It’s protected to say that Weiss the Character makes it unimaginable for Weiss the Particular person to be on a web site like Twitter, the place anybody can say something about you or to you all day lengthy and there’s nothing you are able to do about it. So deleting is wise.

However he’ll be again. As a result of the only most triggering factor on earth to Steve is when somebody is sharing an opinion that he disagrees with. It is best to see him once I’m speaking a couple of inventory I like that he doesn’t. I swear I feel he’s shaking. I’ve to admit, there’ve been occasions the place I’ve truly calibrated my feedback to intentionally rile him up. He takes the bait each time. It’s superior. Anyway, there’s lot of rubbish opinions on Twitter all day and, finally, my man will come again to appropriate you all. Particularly if Jimmy Lebenthal begins feeling himself. Do me a favor – when Steve returns, be good! I gained’t be there to see it, so I’m trusting you.


Dimson, Staunton and Marsh of the London Enterprise College are identified for his or her analysis into long-term returns within the funding markets. Of their 2015 version of the Credit score Suisse International Funding Returns Yearbook, they discovered that “Tobacco shares have beat the fairness market by an annualized 4.5 proportion factors within the U.S. over the previous 115 years…British tobacco shares have beat the market by 2.6 proportion factors yearly over 85 years.”

Guess which squiggly line beneath is the return on American tobacco shares again to 1900:

From the Yearbook:

Determine 2 reveals the efficiency of the 15 US industries for which we have now knowledge again to 1900. The purple line reveals {that a} greenback invested within the US market at start-1900 would have grown, with dividends reinvested, to USD 38,255 by finish 2014, representing an annualized return of 9.6%. The industries show a large dispersion round this. A greenback invested within the worst performer, shipbuilding and transport, would have grown to only USD 1,225, representing an annualized return of 6.4%. The very best performer, tobacco, gave an annualized return of 14.6%, and a terminal worth of USD 6.2 million, over 5,000 occasions as a lot as from shipbuilding and transport.

Dependancy is among the nice funding themes and is undefeated over the long-term. It’s why Peloton’s inventory is price nearly zero however McDonalds is valued at 1 / 4 of a trillion {dollars}. You need to guess on that reversing? LOL, learn extra.


There’s this factor that Elon Musk retains saying about how there must be a digital city sq. the place everybody can talk with everybody else, sharing and debating concepts. It sounds good. I’m not so certain it’s true. We is likely to be higher off with out everybody speaking to everybody. I don’t suppose humanity is supplied for it. There’s 9 verses within the E book of Genesis concerning the final time we tried this. The creator shut it down.

Genesis 11:1-9

Now the entire earth had one language and the identical phrases. And as [the descendants of Noah] migrated from the east, they came across a plain within the land of Shinar and settled there. And so they mentioned to 1 one other, “Come, allow us to make bricks, and burn them totally.” And so they had brick for stone, and bitumen for mortar. Then they mentioned, “Come, allow us to construct ourselves a metropolis, and a tower with its high within the heavens, and allow us to make a reputation for ourselves; in any other case we will be scattered overseas upon the face of the entire earth.” The LORD got here all the way down to see the town and the tower, which mortals had constructed. And the LORD mentioned, “Look, they’re one individuals, and so they have all one language; and that is solely the start of what they may do; nothing that they suggest to do will now be unimaginable for them. Come, allow us to go down, and confuse their language there, in order that they won’t perceive each other’s speech.” So the LORD scattered them overseas from there over the face of all of the earth, and so they left off constructing the town. Due to this fact it was referred to as Babel, as a result of there the LORD confused the language of all of the earth; and from there the LORD scattered them overseas over the face of all of the earth.

I’m not non secular. I don’t even perceive why this story was included within the Bible. It’s nearly an apart, doesn’t actually transfer the plot ahead or something. Takes place away from the primary motion and with none of the vital characters. It’s like a digression.

However, clearly, somebody thought it was vital sufficient to be included.


There are 4 hormones that make us comfortable. They work in a different way and are produced from quite a lot of actions and states of thoughts:


Serotonin stabilizes our temper, emotions of well-being, and happiness. Moreover, it helps lower our worries and considerations and is related to studying and reminiscence.

Serotonin is of course triggered by common issues we will do every day – going for a stroll within the sunshine, getting an excellent evening’s sleep, spending time in nature or self-care actions that scale back stress ranges.


Endorphins are produced by the central nervous system to assist us take care of bodily ache.  They’re launched in response to ache or stress, however they’re additionally launched throughout different actions, like consuming, train, or intercourse.

They launch a quick euphoria that covers the ache. Athletes often discuss an ‘endorphin excessive’ they get after they push their physique to the purpose of actual discomfort or ache.


Oxytocin typically referred to as ‘the love hormone’. In depth analysis has linked oxytocin launch to life satisfaction ranges.

It seems to play a bigger function in girls’s physiology and happiness than males’s.  Oxytocin is especially correlated with a loving contact and shut relationships.

This hormone gives a a number of hit, by stimulating serotonin and dopamine, whereas decreasing anxiousness.


This hormone drives your mind’s reward chemical.  It’s launched if you find yourself doing one thing pleasurable.

This may very well be consuming a fantastic meal, listening to inspiring music, getting a therapeutic massage, or finishing a bodily train exercise. The discharge of dopamine offers emotions of well-being and motivates you to hunt belongings you get pleasure from and do nicely.


We like these chemical compounds so we go to nice lengths to earn them. Falling in love requires leaving the home. Train requires getting off the sofa. Having intercourse requires treating one other human being with decency and respect. These items require effort, time, power, consideration to element, emotional intelligence.

Or you’ll be able to simply scroll the timeline to get your hit. You possibly can kind one thing right into a field that will get different individuals to applaud you for it. Simply kind and push enter. A lot simpler. A lot quicker. The chemical response is similar. It’s a shortcut.

Social media has given us a contented button. Why trouble with the rest?

That’s why there’s not going to be any mass exodus or platform renaissance at Twitter. As a result of in the long run, all of us get what we wish out of it. It does the trick. It’s a cigarette behind the gymnasium between third and 4th interval. It’s a fast butt within the automobile earlier than work. It’s that final drag of the night, when the wine bottle’s empty and the youngsters are asleep. You’ll be again for one more. It’s solely a matter of when not if.








Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *